


Ruins

by TheHuntress25



Series: Rebirth [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, Explicit Language, Heavy Angst, Other, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Substance Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 02:50:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,152
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7081894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheHuntress25/pseuds/TheHuntress25
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pansy Parkinson has left her old life of privilege behind in order to follow her dreams but a letter from Narcissa Malfoy changes everything. Draco Malfoy has begun to wither away and with so much unhappiness still lingering in her spirit, will she have the power to save him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ruins

“ _My son needs you, please help him.”_ Pansy Parkinson's gaze swept over the words for the thousandth time, unable to believe that the plea was genuine. Narcissa Malfoy's handwriting lacked elegance and sophistication but the Malfoy crest had dominated the envelope's seal like a blood red stain, forcing her to accept that this wasn't some cruel joke. It had been an entire year since she had last seen the woman and her fingertips brushed along the parchment in stunned silence, tracing each mark until she could nearly taste the woman's desperation in the air. Her eyes scanned the letter again but it was difficult to believe that this was happening:

 

_Pansy,_

 

_I hope that you have received this letter under happier times and I know that we haven't spoken in quite some time but your mother informed me that you had moved. I have to say that she wasn't pleased by my visit the other day or your whereabouts but she was kind enough to relay your address to me and I feel so badly for reaching out to you like this. There is no one else that I can think of that has ever cared about my boy so deeply. Our old friends have pushed us away and with my poor Lucius in St. Mungo's, I have nowhere to turn and I'm afraid that I'm asking far too much of you but my son needs you, please help him._

 

_Lucius is currently in poor health due to spell damage and I would welcome you here in person but I've just received an owl from his Head Healer. He's in a mood and has been asking for me non stop and I fear what disaster he'll bring on himself if I don't show in the next hour but I will try to make my visit short. I don't want to leave you alone to deal with my son's burden for long, so please be patient and make certain that you steer clear of him when he begins to rage. My grandson should be asleep but it would mean the world to me if you checked on him in the upstairs bedroom, Draco's memory hasn't been too dependable these past few weeks._

 

_I owe you everything for this and I will never forget._

 

_Sincerely,_

 

_Narcissa Malfoy_

 

 

Pansy stiffened in surprise as she reread the line about Mrs. Malfoy's grandchild, she had been unaware that Draco had become a father. A sting of longing erupted in her heart but she couldn't blame him for not making the news public, the Malfoy's were still under harsh scrutiny and the Prophet would smear the news to shreds just for the sake of Galleons. Her bedroom suddenly felt too small and the bleak afternoon light filtered in from the nearby window, every distant crash happening on the streets of Diagon Alley more agonizing than a scream.

 

Mrs. Malfoy must have been in a miserable state if she had willingly visited her mother, who was one of the first to shun the entire family when the Dark Lord reduced their high status. The image of her formidably evil mother glowering at Mrs. Malfoy from a cup of hot tea sent chills down her spine but she stared down at the letter again, worry making her mind go blank: _Please help him._

 

What did she mean?

 

Pansy had always been fond of the woman and Mrs. Malfoy had made certain to show her the sort of kindness that her own mother had no knowledge of but they had fallen out of touch once the War was officially declared over. The world had collapsed into disrepair and the staggering amount of loss that had been accumulated because of the Dark Lord had forced everyone to reevaluate their lives. Pansy felt her shoulders droop as if an invisible imp were making itself comfortable, “What do you think that I could possibly do?” she whispered to herself, overcome.

 

The black strands of her hair were a disaster and she had stayed up the previous night finishing the hem of a wedding dress, desperate to complete it before she returned to work. She looked a complete mess and the thought of seeing Mrs. Malfoy like a hopeless beggar was too much, “I would have to be _mad_ to leave this room but...” her eyes swept over the woman's words again.

 

What had happened to Draco?

 

Pansy hadn't heard from him in a long time but she had seen his sallow, icy image in the Daily Prophet more than once. He looked as if the life had been sucked from him and her chest had ached to see him in such a state, the blankness in his grey eyes were worrying but what did his mother actually think that she could do? Draco had probably forgotten about her completely in the past year and she could hardly blame him, there were too many bad memories between them and she had wasted far too much of her time hopelessly loving him.

 

Their brief relationship during Hogwarts had granted her a little happiness but he had never been committed to her and she bit on her lower lip thoughtfully, worry getting the best of her. Narcissa Malfoy had always been a very prideful woman and to receive a letter like this out of the blue meant that things were far worse than anyone might have thought, “I _am_ mad.” Pansy declared as she quickly reached for a quill.

 

The faint boom and clang of the neighbors next door made her teeth clench but Pansy mercifully didn't spill any ink on the back of the parchment. Mrs. Malfoy's owl had fallen asleep on the windowsill after watching her with large grey eyes that eerily reminded her of Draco, “People always say that I look like a pug but there's nothing wrong with that. Pugs are adorable,” she found herself muttering as some odd childhood wound threatened to open up.

 

The silly girl that she had been during Hogwarts was such a nightmare to her now and she wondered what their old friends would say if they found out that she was living in a crappy flat in Diagon Alley, making _real_ companions with funny Muggle-born witches and working at Twilfit and Tattings. _They would most likely explode_ , Pansy murmured with a faint smile as her quill scratched noisily along the parchment. A lot of things had changed about her and although it hadn't been a smooth road, she was proud of herself for the very first time, “Mother would slap me if she heard that.”

 

Belladonna Parkinson had never grown very fond of her only child but Pansy thought that spending the rest of her life trying to please her would be more painful. Her parents had rarely approved of much as she had grown up and had made it quite clear that she would have to marry well in order to make up for her plain face. The Parkinson's were an old pureblood family but they were far from rich and Pansy had tried her hardest to fit in with the glittering crowd, amazed at these wonderfully beautiful children that had so much more than her.

 

Hogwarts had been a trial, fitting in hadn't been easy but she had somehow gained a small horde of fools by simply being a bully and she wasn't proud to remember that. Pansy had been ashamed of her behavior and she wasn't happy to think of how brainless she had allowed herself to be. It was all in the past, however and Pansy found it very strange that so much could change in such a short amount of time. Pursuing her dream of becoming a seamstress, moving out of her old home and scandalously talking to people of lower birth still gave her pause sometimes.

 

Pansy probably would have never changed at all if it hadn't been for the War and she would have never had the courage to chase her dreams. _I have Astoria Greengrass to thank for that_ , Pansy thought with a twinge of guilt. Greengrass was a half-blood girl from a poorer family and would have been nothing of interest if Draco hadn't been so madly obsessed with solving her “mysterious origins” and poking his nose into things that weren't his business. Pansy didn't know much about the girl's family but she did understand that because of Draco's brief descent into madness in an effort to have her, one of the girl's family members had been killed by Death Eaters.

 

It had come as a shock to everyone and she knew in the pit of her soul that Draco's possible decline might be stemming form his involvement in it. Pansy sensed that he had had no idea just how far his madness for that girl would become. Despite that, she had always thought that he had the sparks of greatness underneath his crafted sneer and for a moment her heart ached with concern as she understood his mother's distress.

 

Perhaps it might do Draco good to see an old friend and Pansy finished her reply quickly and stood up from her chair with a weary sigh. Her desk was covered with needles, fabric and lengths of measuring tape but it usually took too much effort to even straighten the mess with magic, her hours at Twilfit and Tattings were incredibly long. She couldn't bring herself to complain when becoming a seamstress had always been her dream but at some point she would have to thank Astoria Greengrass for giving her the nerve to go after it in the first place.

 

“ _Beauty comes from within, Parkinson. If you allow others to bend you and give up, you only have yourself to blame.”_ The bluntness of the girl's advice had struck her as more powerful than a love potion. Greengrass may have been the source of her envy for so many years but she had been right and she shook the brief thought of her away as she went to her closet to search for a suitable set of robes.

 

Pansy's closet was embarrassingly small but she hadn't been allowed to take much furniture when she had moved out of her parent's home. Her grandfather had a small trust for her that she could tap into if she ever became desperate but she was determined not to rely on anyone but herself, he had even given her priceless family heirlooms without her parents knowing. They were carefully stored away in a neat pile somewhere, buried within a box or two that she kept hidden away, “This will have to do.” She said with a reluctant grumble as she selected a set of plain blue robes.

 

Her mother would probably burn it if she had her way, Belladonna was the sort of woman who liked to drown her insecurities in expensive furs and silks. Pansy's mouth twisted as she quickly undressed and slipped them on, aghast at how much tighter they were around her stomach before smoothing her hand over the wrinkles and lines until she hardly noticed.

 

Mrs. Malfoy's owl was glaring at her by the time Pansy brushed her teeth, added a quick charm to make her cheeks pink and combed through her tangled black hair. The thick locks would be forced into a bun if she were going into work but she found herself letting them hang free, enjoying the toothsome effect it had on her appearance. Pansy swiped on a bit of rose salve, her grandmother's favorite pearl earrings and stuffed her feet into painfully stylish boots before returning to her desk, where Mrs. Malfoy's owl hooted impatiently. “Don't you stare at me like that, you bloody pigeon.” She threatened with a scowl as she carefully sealed the parchment off with a pink ribbon. The owl sent her a droll stare as she tied it to its leg and hopped off her desk, scattering thousands of needles and fabric everywhere before flying out the window.

 

Pansy sighed heavily before flicking her wand at the mess and watching with a satisfied smile as it was wiped clean. Mrs. Malfoy had given no real explanation in her letter but she should be expecting her in a short time, though she was unsure if Draco would really want to see her at all. Her heart clenched as a sudden pang of nerves went through her and she placed a hand over her chest in an attempt to soothe an ache that had nothing at all to do with how Draco would see her—she was worried over what _she_ might see today.

 

What sort of condition was he really in to cause this kind of distress in his mother? However he might appear had to be drastically awful. Pansy bit on her lower lip, wondering if this visit would be good for anyone. She hadn't seen him in ages and she doubted if anything they said today could make an impact on either of their lives but Mrs. Malfoy wouldn't have reached out to her if she thought her son was beyond hope.

 

That was the only thing she had to rely on and Pansy cleared her mind and focused on her destination, an image of Malfoy Manor unfurling like the pages of a book. A tingling began in her fingertips but it was a good feeling and she prayed that there was an ounce of Draco Malfoy left before leaving her tiny life behind with a blistering _crack_.

 

~*~

 

“Draco?” Pansy called loudly as she wandered through the dark halls of the Manor a few minutes later, her robes still damp from a light rain. The graveled path had taken her far too long to navigate and she had forgotten how damnably massive the Manor was, it had appeared to strike the heavens like a dark mark. There were too many rooms, windows, doors, gardens and nonsense that made up this place but she had always loved the history behind it, “Draco, where are you?” she tried again. Her boots made a faint _click_ on the floors but as she looked around, she was disturbed to see how much had been stripped away.

 

The walls were almost bare of portraits, the elegant furniture looked forlorn and she could sense the misery here but the acrid smell of cigar smoke and stale incense was too much. “Where are you— _Merlin_!” Pansy screamed. A body was lying down the hall as if they had taken a hard dive from some jagged cliff and another cry was snatched from her throat as she ran forward, her chest pounding with panic.

 

_Please move_. _Please be alive_.

 

A rug twisted beneath her feet but Pansy impatiently kicked it aside, falling to her knees as she hovered over Draco Malfoy's prone form. The buttons of his white shirt were undone, his feet bare and his black trousers were stained with filth, “Draco, please!” she cried in a fit of hysteria. The nauseating scent of musk and whiskey made her nearly gag but her trembling hand hovered over his mouth while the other settled over his chest, hunting for a heartbeat. Tears sprang to her eyes as the seconds ticked by and her mind was beginning to swim with grief before he gave a harsh cough against her palm, his chest lifting weakly beneath her fingertips.

 

Pansy nearly choked with relief and could barely make out the details of his face through her panicked tears. “Thank _goodness_! I-I thought the worst, here let me help you up.” Her breath was shallow, “what happened?” she asked weakly, wrapping arms around him. Draco grunted and sank his fingers into her arm but her voice was soothing as she said, “it's all right. I've got you—”

 

“Get your fucking hands off of me.” Draco rasped furiously.

 

Pansy felt as if he had physically struck her. “W-what did you—?”

 

Draco shoved her arms away with surprising strength. “ _Don't touch me_ ,”

 

“Stop it, Draco. I'm here to _help_ ,” Pansy interrupted, stunned.

 

Draco laughed cruelly. “I don't need help from some miserable cow,”

 

Pansy felt a flush of anger overtake her and desperately tried to keep it at bay but Draco shoved her away until she fell onto the floor with a sharp gasp. Her father had been a drinker but he had had some manner of decency in his worst moments, Draco appeared like some kind of strange beast as he rolled onto his side, gasping for breath before pushing himself up.

 

Who _was_ this person? The Manor was lit well enough that she could see that his cheekbones stood out sharply against his pale skin, his light blonde hair was unkempt and it was apparent that he hadn't shaved in quite some time. He didn't look suave or in control like the boy she had known, “How...how _dare_ you talk to me like that!” her voice was faint but her rage was fierce.

 

Draco shot her a venomous glare that pierced straight through to some nameless fear before crawling to the nearest wall. He cursed and gasped the entire while but managed to press his back against it, “Who the hell are you?” his voice was thick but the dazed quality of his eyes were hard to miss. Pansy forced down a scathing reply and jerkily rose to her feet, leery of the creature that stared at her, “you look vaguely familiar...” the man murmured idly as he rested his forearm on his knee.

 

“Don't you know me, Draco?” Pansy asked, stung.

 

Draco's grey eyes were bits of flint. “You're not nearly pretty enough to be Samantha Travers and I hardly doubt that little slut would bother visiting when there are so many eligible pricks out there so _eager_ to please.” Pansy flinched at the mention of their old friend, she had heard that Samantha had married into a wealthy family but it was known in select circles that her beauty was only matched by how quickly she opened her legs.

 

“Don't be vulgar,” Pansy chastised furiously, disgusted.

 

“It's merely the truth,” Draco replied with a grim smile.

 

Pansy stared down at him coldly. “What's _happened_ to you?”

 

“Living this wonderful life,” Draco remarked with asinine sweetness.

 

“This...this isn't living. What were you doing, lying there?” Pansy waved her hand at the floor.

 

Draco burst out laughing, the sound bitter and crude. “I was only _drunk_ , Pansy.”

 

Pansy's heart jumped with hope. “Do you really know who I am?”

 

“Yes, I don't remember you being quite so fat though.” Draco drawled, unimpressed.

 

“ _Draco_ —”

 

“Why are you here?” the man interjected warily.

 

Pansy was silent for a long time and she seriously contemplated abandoning the wretch but there was a gleam in his grey eyes that nagged at her. The stink of him and his disregard for his own life were very prominent but instead of allowing the grief to overtake her, she was left being angry, “Your mother sent me to check on you while she visits your father in St. Mungo's.” Her voice was chillingly polite and he stared up at her with dawning clarity. The booze was slowly leaving his system but her anger was going to become his next problem, “I wasn't sure if I would go through with it or not but we both felt that it might do you some good to see an old friend.” Draco scoffed lewdly and spat at her feet, incensing her beyond reason.

 

“I don't need you here,” Draco sneered.

 

Pansy's eyes narrowed into slits. “I will tell you right now that you're not going to scare me away and if you continue to be an insufferable bastard, I will slap you so hard that your ancestors will _curse_ you for the sting.”

 

Draco roared with laughter but she saw his jaw twitch as if she had struck his pride, the one thing that he had always coveted. Pansy had the distinct impression that he was unused to anyone taking such a stand against him and defiance settled into her veins, “I'm going through enough here as it is without having you breathing down my neck.” His lips pulled up in a sneer as he ran his eyes over her. “If you're hoping to pacify me with a romp in bed, I'm afraid that I'll have to decline. I'm not at my best when I'm smashed and I sure as hell don't think I would be able to handle so much of you.” He snickered at his own barb but she refused to move.

 

Their times in bed were stale memories to her now and some petty part of her wanted to inform him that her ample figure had attracted more than a few men in the past year. It was difficult but she forced herself to remain silent. _Patience could shame the devil_ , Pansy thought with a grim frown. “I'm sure that if I were still in contact with Theodore, he would be _more_ than happy to take on the challenge.” Draco murmured idly, as if he were taking pity on her.

 

Pansy clenched her fists and fought for serenity before informing him calmly, “If you weren't so happy lingering here in the Manor, Draco you would know that Theodore is struggling desperately after his father squandered the family fortune.” Theodore Knott had been a pain during their school days but she had felt pity for him. He had been struggling very badly for a while and there were rumors that his high status in society was gone forever, “he's living with Goyle right now. The two of them are working at a ruddy pub in Knokcturn Alley, last I heard.” Draco's eyes widened in shock and his mouth opened as if he wanted to say something but he remained stubbornly silent.

 

Pansy continued as calmly as she could, her voice wrapping around them and settling in the air like some kind of acrid smoke. “Did you also know that Millicent lost her younger sister, Mary to some unknown disease last year? It was a shock to everyone.” She had seen the obituary and had gotten an owl from Millicent that stated that she would be taking Healer classes. The funeral for her sister had been a bleak affair and the last time that she had seen anyone, “it took her so quickly and with both of their parents gone, Millicent is the only one left but the difference between all of these people and _you_ , Draco is that they're still going.”

 

“Shut up,” Draco gritted out.

 

“Theodore and the others have suffered but they're still living,” Pansy continued lightly.

 

Draco's teeth bared. “Shut your _filthy_ mouth,”

 

Pansy's eyes grew hard. “We both know what happened to Blaise,”

 

Draco let out slew of curses at the sound of the boy's name but she didn't flinch as he screamed, hissed and glared at her. Blaise Zabini had been the only person deserving enough of Astoria Greengrass and despite all of the awful things he had done to them both, she had heard that they were married with a child of their very own. The universe was so bizarre in its suffering, “I never asked my mother for anyone's help and I don't _fucking_ need it.” He ground out.

 

Mentioning Blaise Zabini had inevitably reminded him of Greengrass and she saw the guilt swimming in his eyes, he had put the couple through hell. Now he was stuck in his own, “I suggest that you turn your arse around unless you're determined to get more pain than you anticipated.” Draco grunted and her wand was out within seconds, “...I'm suffering here alone and that's just what I need after what I've done.” He growled, his voice cracking. “I live while that sin hangs over my head!” he pointed at her wildly.

 

Pansy regretted taunting him instantly. “Stop it—”

 

“You know what I did!” Draco screamed and he began pulling at his hair.

 

“Draco, stop that!” Pansy commanded, stepping forward.

 

“ _Get away from me_!” Draco screamed madly.

 

Pansy flinched visibly. “I won't leave you like this!”

 

Draco dug his nails into his scalp. “Why the fuck not? You shouldn't spend time with a murderer,”

 

“What happened to Greengrass's family was out of your control and you deserve to pay for your part in it but you can't live the rest of your life like this.” Pansy replied shakily. It didn't feel right at all to say it and even though Draco's actions had caused Greengrass to lose a member of her family, the fact that he showed remorse for it spoke volumes about his true nature. He wasn't a monster, not completely but he would have to see that for himself and she knew that Astoria Greengrass would never want to look at him after what happened.

 

Who really determined what redemption was?

 

Pansy didn't believe in God but she was going to believe in him.

 

“You're not alone in this, Draco.” Pansy found herself murmuring gently. “I haven't seen you in a very long time but I'm here if you need to talk about anything, I came here today because even after all this time, I still cared.” Draco stared blearily at her and she wanted to scream and cry but held his eyes until he looked away, rejecting her. “I know that you won't really believe anything that I have to say but think of your _son_.”

 

“My baby...” Draco murmured and she watched as a look of dawning horror swept across his face, her chest nearly caving in with terror. Pansy stepped away from him with rising anger but he burst into tears as if his heart had been ripped out, “Mother and I argued earlier...I was upset and I left him for just a few minutes but I just now woke up, thanks to _you_.” He managed to stand, reaching out for her but she refused to touch him. A high-pitched mewling noise came from upstairs just then and Pansy turned away from him immediately, gasping in outrage as he snatched her wrist, “what do you think you're doing?” he demanded, mystified.

 

Pansy angled her head back to glare at him in bemused rage but his face was unnaturally calm, as if he weren't quite sure what was happening. “Th...this was just a mistake. I'm perfectly suitable to take care of my own child, I don't need you coming to the rescue.” Draco looked maddeningly pompous but her hand struck out lightning quick to slap the arrogance out of his system. Gasping in outrage, he released her and she shoved him out of her way, “w-who do you think you are? What are you _doing_?!” he cried as her wand lashed out.

 

Pansy was so infuriated that the force of her spell knocked him back several feet and she was satisfied to see him fall to the ground with a pained cry. That baby's wails came again, this time much louder than before and she turned her back on him, “Stay out of my way, you bloody fool. I've seen more than I care to and if you think that I'm going to let you mistreat this helpless child because you're too much of a coward to get yourself together, then you're going to learn a crucial lesson from me.” She snarled over her shoulder.

 

Draco was gagging from the blow but she ignored him and rushed upstairs, following the sound of the baby's fierce cries until her legs had carried her down a long hallway. Pansy could hear the loud cries emanating from the bedroom at the very end and headed towards it desperately, pushing the door open carefully and stepping inside.

 

The room was very large and comfortable, the walls a pale blue that featured family photos that Pansy could only conclude were of Draco and his parents when he was a child. An old crib rested near the window, the white curtains pulled back to reveal that the day had cleared up somewhat but she found herself moving almost in a dream. Pansy crossed over to the infant quietly, hoping that her sudden presence wouldn't frighten him.

 

Soft white blankets were tucked around him, his thrashing body neatly contained in a blue nightgown that was a fraction too big. Pansy's heart nearly melted as he suddenly spotted her, eyes streaming and his cheeks brilliantly red. His hair was nothing more than thin, black wisps along his head and his tiny fists were flailing as if he were trying to break free, “There, there.” Pansy soothed tenderly but the sound of her voice only made the crying intensify. She didn't have much experience with children and was unsure if she should hold him but those eyes were focused solely on her...he just looked so helpless and alone.

 

Carefully, Pansy reached inside and took him into her arms, overwhelmed by how much she wanted to protect him from anything. “I have you, my sweet prince.” It took quite a while for his crying to cease but he eventually settled into the crook of her arm with a happy sigh, one small fist latched onto a lock of her hair.

 

Pansy's eyes were beginning to sting as she held him close, rocking him gently as her wand flicked here and there. A music box on the dresser began to play as she carried him towards a rocking chair in the corner, “I'm not going to let you be alone anymore.” Her voice was threatening to crack as she draped him over her shoulder, rubbing his back until he nuzzled against her skin drowsily.

 

Draco was clearly not suited to take care of a child while his mother was away and her mind twisted with possible solutions but she was in no position to take his son, though this type of neglect would surely be enough for the Ministry. Pansy thought that it might be for the best but she worried about lonely Narcissa and knew that losing this baby would fracture her in more ways than one. Her letter may not have been stained with tears but she had seen them regardless.

 

“What's your name, beautiful boy?” Pansy gently rearranged him until his small face was near her own.

 

“Benjamin.” Draco answered and the sound of his voice caused the rage to build up again until she saw the defeated look on his face. Pansy's eyes narrowed as he stood uncertainly in the doorway, still in his filthy rags but his eyes appeared clear as he stepped into the room, “he's two months old and the love of my life.” The sincerity in his voice was the only real thing that she had seen today and her eyes sent a question to him that he answered readily, “I'm not married and I haven't been with anyone in a long time.”

 

Pansy hesitated. “Then where did you—?”

 

Draco considered her thoughtfully before replying and his voice was so soft that she nearly didn't hear him. “I adopted him when his biological mother contacted me, thinking that I would be gracious and save her from the scandal of being pregnant and unwed.” His fists tightened and it was obvious that his opinion of the mysterious woman was far from complimentary.

 

Pansy couldn't understand why any woman would think such a thing, raising a child should never be burdensome. Draco seemed to read her thoughts clearly, “I could tell that she had no intention of loving him and so I arranged to bring him home with me.” He hesitated before saying softly, “but I've kept the adoption private for now.”

 

“Why?” Pansy asked, frowning.

 

Draco considered the question for a moment and watched her holding his son for what felt like a small eternity. Pansy felt her face growing hot but Benjamin stirred in her arms and she fell so quickly in love that it robbed her of breath, “I'm not well enough yet and I didn't want to put my mother through seeing the Ministry slander our names more than they have already.” She could understand that but he saw the disapproval flash over her face as she ran her eyes over his sloppy appearance, “I haven't been well in a long time and I know that I would be dead by now if it weren't for my son.”

 

“Don't say something like that—”

 

“Pansy, think what you want of me but Benjamin is my entire world.” Draco swallowed roughly and she tensed as he wandered toward them, his fingertips reaching out to stroke his son's cheek. His voice was a whisper, “Mother was against the adoption at first but the moment she saw him, I think a bit of her life came back. Father has been in St. Mungo's and with everything that happened during the War, her spirit was broken until she saw this child.”

 

“Is this baby all that you two have?” Pansy asked him carefully.

 

“Benjamin is saving us, one day at a time.” Draco replied simply.

 

Pansy stared down at the infant, heart overflowing. “I love him,”

 

“You've only just met,” Draco said, chuckling briefly.

 

Pansy nearly felt a laugh bubbling in her chest but bit it down, watching as the man bent to press a soft kiss against Benjamin's forehead. The baby's eyes fluttered open and he looked so furious that he was awake that she expected him to burst but the moment he saw his father, a smile blossomed over his face and he was the most precious thing in the world. “I want to know what's happened to you after the War was over, Draco.” She found herself saying as he scattered kisses along his son's face until the baby gave a kittenish laugh, “a lot of things have happened to me too.”

 

“What have you been doing with your life?” Draco stunned her by asking.

 

Pansy swallowed awkwardly before replying and stroked the fine hair on Benjamin's forehead, smiling as he blessed her with a gummy one in return. “I've started working at Twilfit and Tattings...I've turned my back on everything that my parents would have wanted but I'm hoping to open my own robe shop someday.” Instead of the mocking sneer that she had expected, Draco appeared very admiring and her chest tightened with too much hope, “that's always been my dream. I was so unhappy for such a long time, it took far too much for me to finally understand that I wasn't following my own purpose in life.”

 

“I don't think that I have a purpose in this life but I can at least put my family's fortune to good use, a lot of families have been left with nothing while I struggle with too much.” Draco murmured after a silence had fallen over them. Benjamin cooed and kicked as Pansy ran her fingers along his tummy, finding ticklish little spots that made his eyes go round. “There are a lot of things that I've done that I'm not proud of but no one has ever physically hurt me to get a point across.” He sent her a weak smile and she had the grace to appear chagrined.

 

Draco's eyes lingered on her and she wondered what he saw before he continued. “I want to become healthy for my son and I would like to see my mother smiling again.” There was a brief hesitation from him that she worried would become stuck in his throat, “it's not going to be easy but I need to learn how to stand on my own again and yet I've failed each and every time.” He inhaled raggedly, “I can't do this alone.”

 

Pansy contemplated him for several minutes and wondered what strange energy had taken control of her now. Draco Malfoy was a complete disaster but she could _see_ him underneath the grief, hatred and loathing, “My grandfather always said that when you sink into sadness like this, you lose a part of your heart.” He had always said odd things like this and her father had accounted it to having too much wine during dinner but she thought that he had been correct.

 

She had looked back on her life before and found that she had never been truly happy but there was something about this moment, with the two of them that made every bad thing she had ever been through make sense. “I'm willing to help you get through this, Draco if you're serious about getting well.” Her declaration caused his brows to shoot up in surprise but she focused her attention on Benjamin, “I want to visit often to see your son, that will be the only thing that I ask in return for helping you.”

 

“Is that all?” Draco asked her, fearing the future.

 

“Yes. I'm going to find my heart, Draco and I suggest you do the same.”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Thanks for stopping by! I have quite a few one-shots about Pansy Parkinson and Draco Malfoy, they're really great characters to write. These stories are pretty AU as well and connected to my story A Force of Wills just in case you get a little confused.


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